Expressions I Am Sick Of / Don’t Understand, Vol. 1

“Just give your pain to Jesus.”

There are so many things wrong with this expression, I barely know where to begin.

1. Just: it makes it sound like this should be the simplest thing in the world.

2. The whole thing just adds one more thing to the mountain of failures on my part that are the reason I’m still sick. If I’d “just give it to Jesus” then I’d be better. Once again, it’s my fault.

3. Don’t you think I’d give it away if I could?!? What kind of masochist would know how to give it away and not do it?

4. What does this even mean? How does one do this, practically? Without practical instruction, this just comes off like pschyobabble, trite, pat fluff. Worse than useless because it promises an answer but doesn’t tell me how to achieve it.

I don’t think anyone means to cause pain when they say this, but I also don’t think I can be the only one that’s ever been frustrated or hurt by it.

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12 thoughts on “Expressions I Am Sick Of / Don’t Understand, Vol. 1

  1. what do you mean? if you are trying to tell me it means i should do it, then first, i wish you’d just say that. second, i hope you can tell me how to do it. i stand by my critique of this expression. it’s meaningless unless someone can make it practical.

  2. Rachel, it does not mean that all you have to do is dump your pain on Jesus and you’ll be rid of it. That’s not what it means. It means that when you have a relationship with Jesus, He is there to share your pain. He is there for you to talk to, to find comfort in, to pray for peace, to read His word to find wisdom and direction. I have attempted suicide, twice, before I knew Jesus. And I’ve been suicidal since. I’m not talking about something I don’t know.

  3. i don’t know what more to say to you to make you understand how frustrating this expression is to me right now. i wish no one would give that advice unless they could also tell me how to do it.

    if you know this, then tell me how to do it. tell me how to DO anything. i’m glad you were able to find a way to do it, but it’s a complete mystery to me right now; you might as well be speaking a foreign language. i can’t DO anything right now, and i am so condemned.

    i wish that i could find comfort in anything, but right now, there is nothing but blackness. logically, i know all about the comfort i should be finding in Jesus right now, but nothing reaches me right now. i have to trust that the work on the cross was enough and that i don’t have to DO anything. otherwise, i might as well kill myself.

  4. Rachel, I’m sorry. I’m trying to help you in any way I know, and the only way I can is to offer you Jesus. No, you don’t have to do anything. Jesus loves you no matter what. I just wanted to explain that the expression doesn’t mean that IF you would just do something then you would feel better. That it just means He’s there for you no matter what you’re going through. I know what it feels like to be down in a dark pit. My pit is very familiar. I just hate to see other people in pain and I try to offer a hand up, but I can’t. I have to accept that. I will shut up and continue to pray for you.

  5. Rachel, I don’t believe there are mountains of failures in your life that have caused you to remain sick. I say that as I would to a loved one who is suffering with a brain tumor. They didn’t get the brain tumor because of failures in their life, lack of faith, or some secret sin. To tell them so would be cruel.

    I would like to be a voice that wants you to realize this is not your fault. You may feel that way now but I’m stubborn enough to disagree.

    When I was suffering through some dark times I would hear some comments that stung. I know you are quite familiar with what I’m talking about.

    The ones that hurt most were from those that were close to me. Other times I realized some people were still in the dark ages when it comes to mental illness, while others sincerely cared about me but didn’t express it the way I would have hoped for.

    You closed your article by saying that you didn’t believe people mean to cause pain when they say “just give your pain to Jesus.” And you are quite correct in stating you aren’t the only one who has been hurt or frustrated by that comment.

    As Dorci is a woman who has tried to take her life twice I have to imagine, without having asked her, that she heard many of the same statements you have during your journey battling Bi- Polar.

    I’m sure she understands where you are better than I ever could but wasn’t able to properly communicate that to you. You are both gracious and Godly women. I am pulling for both of you. I only wish I could do more.

    God bless you Rachel. You remain in my prayers. Allan

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