typing this up as i listen to the thunder crashing out the Lord’s glory outside. i drove home from a closing shift watching the lightning all over the sky declare God’s power. and now i should be in bed sleeping, not typing. but i have to get this out while it’s fresh in my mind. i have to have it written down in a place where i can come back to it.
today, for the third week in a row, we visited frontline fellowship for sunday service. and boy, did the Lord visit me. worship was incredibly powerful. i wasn’t just drawn into God’s presence–i was slammed into it. as i prayed during the entire worship portion, it seemed that every prayer was met with an answer in the music before the words even left my lips.
one song in particular just crushed me, in the best way, like you would crush herbs to bring out their best. it was as if the writer had been watching my life for the last few years. it spoke about wondering if your life can even change, if things can even get better. that’s been the dirge of my heart that i’ve been fighting for quite some time. and the same song ended with the words “you make me new; you are making me new.”
as i sang those words and mulled over their truth, even when they don’t always feel true, even when i don’t remember them, these verses burned on my heart with an intensity i may never have felt before:
“Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.” Isaiah 42:9
“Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19
as i pondered their meaning–what does God want to say to me with these verses now?–the Holy Spirit made it crystal clear. first, i am convinced that God is telling me that He is going to move to seperate me and my family from the hurts, miseries, afflictions and trials of the recent past. He has a new beginning for us, and while i am not sure when it will come to fruition, i know it starts today.
second, He is telling me this, before it happens (isaiah 42:9), so that i will hope. if these verses don’t make it crystal clear that he wants me to have hope, i don’t know what would. now is the time for hope. and it is springing up it my heart like a tender new plant. i can’t believe i am even saying it! i’ve written before of my struggles with hope, and i honestly despaired of ever having it again. but here i am–hoping.
i know that this hope comes from God. it is definitely not from me. and i am so, so thankful for it.