sometimes it won’t make it better

I realized today that sometimes I actually have a decent reason for not wanting to talk about it. About how dark it is or how bad I feel.

Most of the time, I just end up feeling worse.

  • I feel bad because what you said, trying so hard to help, just didn’t change how I feel a bit.
  • I feel guilty because now you feel bad because I don’t feel better.
  • I feel bad that I’m so resistant to your efforts.
  • I feel bad that you wasted your time.
  • and I really feel bad if I think what you said should make me feel better but it just doesn’t.

So now you feel worse and so do I. I’m screwed either way. At least if I keep my mouth shut there’s a chance you might not feel worse.

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